Thursday, September 10, 2015

11 Things Smart People Won't Say

BY TRAVIS BRADBERRY
  
Author, 'Emotional Intelligence 2.0'
These phrases carry special power: They have an uncanny ability to make you look bad even when the words are true.

There are some things you simply never want to say at work. There's no taking them back once they slip out, either. I'm not talking about shocking slips of the tongue, off-color jokes, or politically incorrect faux pas. These aren't the only ways to make yourself look bad.
Often, it's the subtle remarks--the ones that paint us as incompetent and un-confident--that do the most damage.
No matter how talented you are or what you've accomplished, there are certain phrases that instantly change the way people see you and can forever cast you in a negative light. These phrases are so loaded with negative implications that they undermine careers in short order.
How many of these career killers have you heard around the office lately?
1. "It's not fair."
Everyone knows that life isn't fair. Saying "it's not fair" suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes you look immature and naive.
If you don't want to make yourself look bad, you need to stick to the facts, stay constructive, and leave your interpretation out of it. For instance, you could say, "I noticed that you assigned Ann that big project I was hoping for. Would you mind telling me what went into that decision? I'd like to know why you thought I wasn't a good fit, so that I can work on improving those skills."
2. "This is the way it's always been done."
Technology-fueled change is happening so fast that even a six-month-old process could be outdated. Saying "this is the way it's always been done" not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but it could make your boss wonder why you haven't tried to improve things on your own. If you really are doing things the way they've always been done, there's almost certainly a better way.
3. "No problem."
When someone asks you to do something or thanks you for doing something, and you tell the person, "No problem," you're implying that his or her request should have been a problem. This makes people feel as though they've imposed on you.
What you want to do instead is show people that you're happy to do your job. Say something like, "It was my pleasure," or "I'll be happy to take care of that." It's a subtle difference in language, but one that has a huge impact on people.
4. "I think ... /This may be a silly idea ... /I'm going to ask a stupid question."
These overly passive phrases instantly erode your credibility. Even if you follow these phrases with a great idea, they suggest that you lack confidence, which makes the people you're speaking to lose confidence in you.
Don't be your own worst critic. If you're not confident in what you're saying, no one else will be either. And, if you really don't know something, say, "I don't have that information right now, but I'll find out and get right back to you."
5. "This will only take a minute."
Saying that something only takes a minute undermines your skills and gives the impression that you rush through tasks. Unless you're literally going to complete the task in 60 seconds, feel free to say that it won't take long, but don't make it sound as though the task can be completed any sooner than it actually can be. 
6. "I'll try."
Just like the word think, try sounds tentative and suggests that you lack confidence in your ability to execute the task. Take full ownership of your capabilities. If you're asked to do something, either commit to doing it or offer an alternative, but don't say that you'll try, because it will sound as if you won't try all that hard.
7. "He's lazy/incompetent/a jerk."
There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there's no need to point it out. If your remark is inaccurate, you're the one who ends up looking like a jerk.
There will always be rude or incompetent people in any workplace, and chances are that everyone knows who they are. If you don't have the power to help them improve or to fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude. Announcing your colleague's incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt to make you look better. Your callousness will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form of your co-workers' negative opinions of you.
8. "That's not in my job description."
This often sarcastic phrase makes you sound as though you're only willing to do the bare minimum required to keep getting a paycheck, which is a bad thing if you like job security.
If your boss asks you to do something that you feel is inappropriate for your position (as opposed to morally or ethically inappropriate), the best move is to complete the task eagerly. Later, schedule a conversation with your boss to discuss your role in the company and whether your job description needs an update. This ensures that you avoid looking petty. It also enables you and your boss to develop a long-term understanding of what you should and shouldn't be doing.
9. "It's not my fault."
It's never a good idea to cast blame. Be accountable. If you had any role--no matter how small--in whatever went wrong, own it. If not, offer an objective, dispassionate explanation of what happened. Stick to the facts, and let your boss and colleagues draw their own conclusions about who's to blame.
The moment you start pointing fingers is the moment people start seeing you as someone who lacks accountability for his or her actions. This makes people nervous. Some will avoid working with you altogether, and others will strike first and blame you when something goes wrong.
10. "I can't."
I can't is it's not my fault's twisted sister. People don't like to hear I can't because they think it means I won't. Saying I can't suggests that you're not willing to do what it takes to get the job done.
If you really can't do something because you truly lack the necessary skills, you need to offer an alternative solution. Instead of saying what you can't do, say what you cando. For example, instead of saying "I can't stay late tonight," say "I can come in early tomorrow morning. Will that work?" Instead of saying "I can't run those numbers," say "I don't yet know how to run that type of analysis. Is there someone who can show me so that I can do it on my own next time?"
11. "I hate this job."
The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is people complaining about how much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person and brings down the morale of the group. Bosses are quick to catch onto naysayers who drag down morale, and they know that there are always enthusiastic replacements waiting just around the corner.
Bringing it all together
Eliminating these phrases from your vocabulary pays dividends. They have a tendency to sneak up on you, so you're going to have to catch yourself until you've solidified the habit of not saying them.
Ref: Inc.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

17 Mistakes Everyone Should Make Before They Turn 30


(Flickr/Leo Hidalgo) Go ahead and date the wrong person. It's good for you. 

Everyone makes mistakes. But no matter how much humiliation, pain, or sadness they may cause, every misstep helps us learn and grow and ultimately be better people.

In fact, some mistakes are even necessary for your future success — and you should try to make them while you're still young.
"There is a lot of talk about how kids aren't being 'allowed' to make mistakes, and this is hurting them in the long run because they aren't building the skills necessary to deal with change and be resilient," says Michael Kerr, author of "The Humor Advantage: Why Some Businesses Are Laughing All the Way to the Bank."
"If they don't learn that failure is part of growing early on, then they may be less equipped to deal with failure later on in life," Kerr says.
Here are some necessary mistakes everyone should make before turning 30:
1. Bomb a big presentation. 
"Even polished, professional speakers and public figures lay an egg now and then, and it's an important lesson to learn early: It happens, and you'll survive," says Kerr. "And you'll realize it's not the end of the world, and you'll learn a ton about what not to do and what to do next time."
2. Date the wrong person.
Whether it's the "rebound" person or just a bad choice, most everyone's done it. Discovering what you don't want early on will help you make better choices with all your important relationships, says Kerr. "It'll help you learn things about your own values and life goals that perhaps you weren't aware of." 
3. Stick with a terrible job.
Even if the boss is horrible and the pay is bad, don't just give up and jump ship. Stick around for a while and try to find a solution — even if it seems like a terrible move at the time. "The way you handle yourself in this situation will forever shape the way you treat people when you're in charge," says Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, and author of "Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad."
(Flickr/PhilandPam) Don't jump ship when things get hard. 
4. Feel entitled, at least once.

"Assuming you were going to get that promotion or be assigned an important project or made team leader are all mistakes you should make at least once," says Kerr. "Learning from these types of mistakes will remind you to not take things for granted and to never sit back and assume something will be handed to you."
5. Hit rock bottom.
Before the wildly successful "Harry Potter" series came to life, J.K. Rowling was a single mom in her 30s on welfare, with no job, no money, and a child to raise on her own. 
In a 2008 commencement speech at Harvard University, Rowling discussed how hitting rock bottom forced her to finish the first Harry Potter book. She says:
"I've often met people who are terrified — you know, in a straitjacket of their own making — because they'd rather do anything than fail. They don't want to try for fear of failing," she says. "[Hitting] rock bottom wasn't fun at all — I'm not romanticizing rock bottom — but it was liberating. What did I have to lose?" 
6. Get fired.
If you're ever going to get fired, doing it in your 20s is the way to go, says Kerr. "Getting fired early on can be a brutally tough life experience, but it can serve as a huge wake-up call for change if there was a performance issue."
It may even serve notice that you were on the wrong career path — and better to learn that in your 20s than in your 40s.
"Being fired or laid off also teaches you the most valuable life lesson: That ultimately you need to take 100% control of your own destiny and develop the skills necessary to always have a viable back-up plan and take responsibility for your own life," he says.
(Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design/flickr) Move around ... a lot. 
7. Change jobs three times.

Sure, it won't look great on your rĂ©sumĂ© — but by trying out different career paths you'll gain insight into what your true calling is, says Kahn.
8. Take the wrong job for the wrong reasons. 
It might be because of the money; it may be because you felt this was the only option at the time. But learning this lesson early will help you define your values and set you up for a more fulfilling career in the long run, Kerr explains.
9. Say whatever's on your mind without any regard for anyone else's feelings.
This is part of growing up and navigating relationships, both personal and professional. "Making the mistake of deeply offending someone can serve as a wake-up call to be more empathetic around others and help you develop better communication skills," says Kerr. 
10. Burn bridges.
Obviously you don't want to do this frequently, but making the mistake of burning a bridge once or twice can actually be beneficial.
"It's sometimes more challenging to see the long-term consequences of our actions when we are younger, and burning bridges can come back to haunt us in substantial ways," Kerr says. "Learning to walk away from a difficult situation on a positive note with your head held high is an important lesson to carry with you throughout your life."
(SNRE/Flickr) You'll never regret the fun you had with friends. 
11. Go out with your friends, even though you have work to do.

"You'll always find ways to get that particular work project done, but you'll never find ways to retake that particular moment with friends," Kahn explains.
12. Offend someone with your humor.
This may not seem like a huge deal, says Kerr, "but navigating the minefield of appropriate humor in a business setting can be a challenge for people starting out in their careers, in extreme cases even costing them their jobs." Figuring out where those lines are and that everyone has different tastes and perceptions is a critically important skill to learn early. 
13. Risk everything.
Risking everything for an uncertain career or romantic relationship might seem like a huge mistake to most people, but everyone should do it once early in their life. It can pay off. And if it doesn't, you will at least learn something from the experience, so it won't be a total loss.
14. Be passive.
"It's natural, especially when you're young, to sometimes sit back and want to please everyone in the hopes of making sure everyone gets along," says Kerr. "But being too passive and not learning to ask for what you want can lead to missed opportunities — and the earlier you learn that lesson, the better." 
(Vancouver Film School/flickr) Go ahead — offend someone. You'll need to learn this lesson eventually. 
15. Think you have all the right answers.

This is a mistake you'll make over and over again your whole life. Each time, you'll be one step closer to realizing you're not always right — so it's best to start thinking this as early as possible. 

16. Blame someone for your mistakes.
You should blame yourself or someone else at least once. It will help you realize this isn't productive. 
"When something goes wrong, instead of looking for who to point the finger at, look for ways you can create solutions," says Kahn.
17. Think mistakes are always a bad thing or a personal reflection on you.
"Mistakes are life's feedback — they are research; they are part of your education; they are necessary stepping stones if you are actually putting yourself out there and growing," Kerr says. "If you aren't ever making any mistakes, then chances are you aren't taking any risks or trying anything new, and as you get older that may end up being the costliest mistake of all." 
Source: Yahoo.com

Friday, March 13, 2015

Interiors of Bhaijaanz, the Salman Khan cafe

Expect Salman Khan fans to be as unique as the superstar himself! While our film industry got together to start a Bollywood Walk Of Fame to celebrate the contribution of stars in developing the world of cinema, fans of Salman Khan decided to honor their idol in their own way. 

Admirers of the superstar Khan have started a 'Salman Khan' themed café titled Bhaijaanz (since Salman is fondly known as 'bhai' by his fans) in Bandra, a suburb in Mumbai. The interiors of the café have many of the elements that represent the filmy world of Salman Khan.

Starting with the wall, it is decorated with a huge portrait of Salman Khan's sketch. Though the actor currently styles himself differently, this avatar in the photo frame represents the look that Salman Khan used to sport during the Hum Saath Saath Hain days. 

If that wasn't enough, keeping Salman Khan's action avatar and well built body in mind, he has been given the look of the popular superhero 'Hulk' in one of the portraits used for the decor of the cafe. Also, Salman Khan is known for his shirtless avatar which he often flaunts in most of his films.

One of the most novel elements of this cafĂ© is yet another photograph of the superstar. Though the initial look is that of the actor sporting trendy shades, when you look at it closely, you will find different snaps of the actor, from his 'on the sets' pictures to his public appearances to his TV show images that together form the background collage of this huge portrait. 

If that was not all, the wall hangings include frames that represent the different looks Salman Khan has experimented with, throughout his career, starting from Maine Pyar Kiya to his recent Kick.

Around the staircase, there are photo frames which denote the exact release dates of Salman Khan movies and birth date of his close ones. The walls are also decorated with some of his popular dialogues like Ek baar jo maine commitment kardi among others Looks like it's the new addition in the itinerary for Bollywood lovers and especially for Salman Khan fans when they visit Mumbai.

Source: BollywoodHungama.Com

Monday, January 5, 2015

Unseen Pictures From Aamir Khan’s PK

Aamir Khan’s “PK” that created a lot of controversies, is running successfully all over.
Despite all the protest and demand for ban, “PK” has become highest grossing Bollywood film of all time.  “PK” was released on December 19, 2014, and so far has collected Rs. 288 crore (2.88 billion) in India. The movie has touched Rs. 500 crore mark and is fast racing towards the Rs 600 crore club worldwide.
You can check some amazing and funniest behind the scenes moment of PK. Check latest five images of PK of Aamir Khan and Sanjay Dutt.
Sanjay Dutt shooting for ‘Tharki Chokro’ song from PK on the segway. The tough look of the actor and his traditional attire with yellow turban and white costume makes him look totally extra ordinary.
Raj Kumar Hirani on the sets of PK explaining Aamir Khan his scenes for the movie. Director Hirani is most concerned and dedicated director of all times.
Raj Kumar Hirani holding the musical instrument, which is Bhairo Singh bandwala from movie PKSanjay Dutt plays role of Bhairo Singh in the movie.
Raj Kumari Hirani and Aamir Khan resting under the shades in the afternoon at the sets of PK
Is it real Aamir Khan sitting in the car with Taj Mahal in the background? No it’s a 3D picture created for the movie shooting. While Rajkumar Hirani takes care of the technical part.
Ref: BoC